Know Your Stars, Beyblade Edition
by Freedra Kyes
Summary: You're going to love this!
1. Tyson

Hi, I'm back again for Know Your Stars Beyblade Style. Who knows what'll happen here.  
  
Tyson paces back and forth while waiting for his cue to come on to the stage, my stage! Here we go. Wish me luck in torturing the beybladers!  
  
"Tyson, you're on in 1," my associate, Blackie says.  
  
"Oh, good!" Tyson says and he runs onto the stage, unknowingly running into my torture.  
  
Tyson runs to the chair, under a spot light, in the middle of the room, and sits down.  
  
("Freed," Blackie says, "he's on the staige."  
  
"Good," I reply, as I get my microphone.)  
  
"Know your stars........Know your stars.........Know your stars...................."  
  
"Tyson Granger........He's in love with everybody."  
  
"What? That's not true, just.......erm."  
  
"Oh, revision, 'Tyson Granger... He's in love with Hilary."  
  
"No I am Not!!!!!" he shouts very loudly.  
  
"Then why are you blushing?"  
  
Tyson screams, "I am not BLUSHING!!!!!!!"  
  
"Sure..... Tyson Granger..... He likes to cuddle with Max."  
  
"I DO NOT!!!!!!" He shouts again.  
  
"Tyson Granger.....He'll eat everyone and everything."  
  
"I will not," he says indignantly.  
  
"Uh huh... hat's what they all say. Now you know Tyson Granger."  
  
Tyson stands up and shouts to no one, "NO THEY DON'T!!!!!!!!!! THEY ONLY KNOW YOUR TOTALLY INSANE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" 


	2. Max

Hey, thanks to all who reviewed.  
  
Max Tayte is munching on...you guessed it, sugar.  
  
"Max," Blackie says to him, "You're on now."  
  
"Goodie," Max says, and is now extremely hyper, and he, like Tyson, runs to the stage, and to unknown torture.  
  
("Max is on," Blackie tells me.  
  
"Very good," I say as I reach for my microphone.)  
  
"Know your stars..........know your stars.........know your stars..........know your stars........"  
  
"Max Tayte........He love catnip."  
  
"What?!?" the hyper Max yells. "That's not true and you know it. I love sugar."  
  
"Max Tayte.........He's part boy, part macaroni, part soda can and part antelope."  
  
"You can't do that, that's not possible," Max says in a very annoying tone, then sticks out his tongue.  
  
"Max Tayte............He's biologically impossible."  
  
"How can that be?" Max asks the announcer. "I'm here, so it is possible."  
  
There's now a trace of annoyance in the announcer's voice.  
  
"Max Tayte.........He's fallen in love with ravioli."  
  
"How'd you know?" Max asks in amazement. "Are you psychic?"  
  
"Yes, I am, and now you're going to be very mad at me. And now you know Max Tayte."  
  
"NO THEY DON'T!!!!" Max shouts to absolutely no one. 


	3. Kai

Hey all, Freed yet again. Um, it was really awesome seeing you guys' reactions to my fics, and I hope you come back without flamers!! As for flamer, what do you expect, I've only been here for about a year!  
  
Kai Hiwatari is sitting in the torture—ahem, the waiting room when Blackie comes in.  
  
"You're on now," she tells him.  
  
"Hn," he replies, as he walks past her.  
  
"Okay....."  
  
("Kai's on the stage," Blackie says. "I don't think you'll get much of a reaction from him."  
  
"Don't worry," I reply, "I can get a reaction out of anybody."  
  
"Sure," Blackie says as she leaves.)  
  
"Know your stars........know your stars............know your stars...........know your stars....."  
  
"Kai Hiwatari......he's a ravioli."  
  
"Hn," Kai says.  
  
"Okay........ Kai Hiwatari......His best friend is Max."  
  
"Hn," Kai says again.  
  
By now the announcer is getting annoyed, but is remaining calm.  
  
"Kai Hiwatari........He love chicken soup."  
  
"Hn."  
  
"Grrrr........ Kai Hiwatari........He likes trolls and goblins."  
  
"Hn."  
  
A muffled scream fills the air.  
  
"Kai Hawatari.....he's made of hot air."  
  
"Hn." Now, a muffled scream is followed by several crashes.  
  
In a desperation, the announcer says, "Kai Hawatari......he's..........in love with Tyson!"  
  
"What?" Kai finally says. "That's ridiculous."  
  
"Now you know Kai Hiwatari is not a broken record."  
  
Kai shakes his head and walks casually off the stage. 


	4. Ray

Hey again, guys, me, Freed, and I'm not in a too happy mood right now, feel bad for the next guy that has to come in.  
  
Anyways, thanks you to all who reviewed, your thoughts are much appreciated.  
  
On with the fic.  
  
Ray Kon sits nervously in another room trying to figure out his fate, as the other members of his team had just walked out rather frustrated.  
  
"Okay, Ray," Blackie says to him, "You can go in now."  
  
"Thanks," he says nervously, as he heads towards the stage.  
  
("Okay, Ray's on now."  
  
"Okay," I reply.)  
  
As soon as Ray takes his seat, "Know your stars.............know your stars...........know your stars............know your stars.........."  
  
"Ray Kon.......He was born on Mars."  
  
"Um, no, I was born in China, or at least that's what I'm told," he tells me calmly.  
  
"But your not sure?"  
  
"Well, not exactly," he explains, "but there's no life on any other planet."  
  
"Or so you're told."  
  
"Well, yeah."  
  
"Whatever. Ray Kon........he's devoted his life to be a banana."  
  
"Huh? No, I've devoted my life to be the best blader I can," he says.  
  
"Sure. Ray Kon.........You are the weakest link."  
  
"What?" he asks. "That's a whole other show."  
  
"Or so you're told."  
  
"Well, yeah."  
  
"Ray Kon.......he's an idiot."  
  
"Why are you saying these things?"  
  
"Ray Kon, so I can devote my life to be nothing but insane and evil."  
  
"Why would you want to do that?"  
  
"Ray Kon....sarcasm is a foreign language to him."  
  
"Oh, sorry I didn't know."  
  
"Ray Kon........he was abandoned by everyone he knows."  
  
"What? Why?" he asks in a panic.  
  
"Ray Kon.........He's incredibly gullible."  
  
"No I'm not!"  
  
"What about that time with Kevin?"  
  
"That was an accident," he says.  
  
"Sure. Ray Kon..........He's in love with himself."  
  
"No, I'm not. I like.....some one else."  
  
"Uh-huh. Now you know Ray Kon. Good day!"  
  
"No, they know you're..." he starts.  
  
"I said 'Good day'!"  
  
"That you're in a bad mood obviously."  
  
"No, genius, what gave you that idea?"  
  
"Sorry I said anything." 


	5. Kenny

Hey, you-know-who again. Absolutely nothing worth reading right now, so here's chapter 5 to my beblade edition.  
  
Here we go.........  
  
Kenny is waiting for something to happen when he sees a very ticked off team member walk from the stage, wondering why everyone sounds so upset when they leave the stage.  
  
"Hey, Kenny, ya got 5," Blackie, my evil assistant says to him.  
  
"Thanks," Kenny replies to a chair.  
  
"Um, I'm over here, by the door," she tells him, but rolls her eyes and walks out.  
  
("Kenny's ready to go out, Freed," she tells me.  
  
"Excellent," I say in the same style as Mr. Burns from "the Simpsons", which, by the way is an incredibly funny show.)  
  
As Kenny takes his seat in the center of an incredibly empty stage.......  
  
"Know your stars..........Know your stars...........Know your stars..........Know your stars................"  
  
"Kenny.........." There are some muffled whispers that sound like, "Does he even have a last name?" "......Something-or-other...........He has no eyes."  
  
"Yes, well, that's a very common rumor going around, and I can honestly say that it isn't true, and blah, blah, blah, blah."  
  
There's a muffled yawn as the announcer says, "Kenny Something-or- other.........he has an I.Q. of zero."  
  
"Now, I can tell you that that just cannot happen because blah, blah, blah, blah."  
  
There is another stifled yawn and the announcer says, "Yeah..........Kenny Something-or-other...........he's a total snore job."  
  
Strangely enough, a loud applause can be heard from the audience, as Kenny says, "No! I think I'm very scientifical."  
  
The announcer sighs, and says, "Kenny Something-or-other..........he has no proper last name, so this is what I call him."  
  
"Which makes perfect sense seeing as blah, blah, blah, blah."  
  
A loud thud can be heard followed by some light snoring; then a new voice comes onto the microphone.  
  
"Um......." The voice says, "We're having some technical difficulties, like our announcer has just fallen asleep due to the fact that......... Kenny Something-or- other.......he's so boring he could put Max on sugar out just by talking about the periodic table."  
  
"Now I find that offensive," Kenny says.  
  
"Kenny Something-or-other............he dyes his hair to look like a kid."  
  
"That's just ridiculous!"  
  
"Kenny Something-or-other........he's really a 60-some year old man trying to pass for a know-it-all 10 year old."  
  
"That's highly improbable."  
  
"Uh-huh.......that's what you want us to think, geezer. Kenny Something-or- other..........he's kissed Mariah behind Ray's back."  
  
"What?" Kenny asks the new voice, "How did you find out about that?"  
  
All of a sudden Ray bursts out onto the stage.  
  
"You kissed Mariah?" he asks angrily and hurt.  
  
"She kissed me!" Kenny tries to argue, but he runs away from the very angry neko-jin, who is, strangely, yelling curses in Chinese to the "young" boy.  
  
While this is going on, there can be a pair of voices heard laughing their heads off at their fortune. 


	6. Hilary

Hey, I just want to say a few things before we get to the skit. (If you skip the intro things, that's fine, but **_please observe the third and fifth ones._** Thank you.)

First, I want to thank all who reviewed. Your praise and opinions are what keep me going.

Second, I want to apologize for waiting so long with the last chapter. It took me a while to get back on my grounding for this story.

Thirdly, I want to thank Blackie for taking the Kenny chapter. I don't think I could have gotten through the chapter with out you.

Fourthly, if you want your favorite characters staring on "Know Your Stars: Beyblade Edition", please supply a first and last name, thank you.

Fifthly, I may be needing a stage crew to help me with next season's, or the rest of this season's, shows, because I think word has gotten around to the other bladers around the world that I don't exactly do nice, so if you're interested, I would love for you to tell me so in either an email or by your review. It would be much appreciated, because the next stars on my show may not be so willing to be featured on it, and I may need them escorted in. Anything you will need will be supplied, but these, regrettably, are not paying jobs, seeing as this show doesn't exactly get any money. But if you would volunteer, I would absolutely appreciate it, Thanks!!

And finally, by popular demand, here's Hilary!!

Hilary sits in the middle of an empty stage, wondering why everyone else is so mad. (As if they'd figure it out by now!)

("This should be fun," Blackie says.

"Of course," I reply.)

And now, everybody's favorite part!

"Know your stars.........know your stars...........know your stars.............know your stars............"

"Hilary......" There's a pause, followed by a mumble of, "Great....Does anybody here have her last name?"

There's a reply of, "No." Then it's followed, "Go figure."

"Hillary What's-her-name............... She can scare Horror Movie baddies."

"What? That's so mean!"

"Hillary What's-her-name............... Is related to Kenny, the snore job."

"Ah!! That's so insulting."

"Hillary What's-her-name............... Likes Tyson."

"EW!!!!!!! NO, NO, NO, NO!!"

"Hillary What's-her-name............... Eats aluminum foil for breakfast."

"Why would anyone do that?"

"I don't know, you tell me."

She shakes her head, as the announcer goes on.

"Hillary What's-her-name............... Is serving probation."

"Ah! That's a total lie! Why are you doing this?"

"Because it's so fun!!!! Hillary What's-her-name............... Needs a hair dresser."

"I do not!!"

"Yes, you do. You look like your wearing a mullet!"

Hilary looks angry at this.

"Now you know Hilary What's-her-name."

"No, they don't!"

"Yes, they do."

As the show goes off, Hilary can be heard yelling something about my show being ludicrous and other mean and hurtful things about the announcer.


	7. Tala

Svart Mirai

fallen angel wiv horns

Enchanted Crimson Rose

YES!! You're hired!! You're all hired!!! You can start right now! I'll need you three to bring in my next persons.

On with the show!

Now, the Know Your Stars: Beyblade Edition takes you to the frozen regions of Russia for our next victims, er targets......I mean guests.

Tala Ivanhov is brought, er, carried in by Blackie and my three new evil assistants, Svart Mirai, fallen angel wiv horns, and Enchanted Crimson Rose; then he's tied up in the chair in the middle of an empty stage. Tala is shouting Russian curses at them, but, sadly for him, they don't know Russian. (At least to my knowledge.)

And you know what comes next......

"Know your stars.........Know your stars.........Know your stars.........Know your stars........."

"Tala Ivanoff.... Is actually Captain Diaper Head in disguise."

"Ok, you know that's totally false. Why do you say things like this? And it's Ivanhov"

"Tala Icanfov.... Is a Psycho Cyborg... And I told you that my name is Ivanhov!"

"Well, that maybe true."

"...in love with Kai."

"Ok, you've gotta be kidding me. That's so fake; it's not even funny. And it's IVANHOV!!!"

Tala Orcanshov... No one can pronounce his last name."

"Everyone besides you, look. 'Tala Ivanhov'. It's not that hard."

"I rest my case."

Tala stares blankly at no one in frustration.

Tala Evanova.... His first name is actually Talaban."

"No, my first name is actually Tala, not Talaban. That's an evil acult."

Tala Meathead.... His hair looks like wings."

"Ok, that's ridiculous, and you weren't even close that time. And my head's not made of meat!!"

True, it's mostly made of fat! (no seriously.) Tala Ivanhov....He can fly."

"That's not true, and you know it. And besides, you did get my last name right."

"No, no, that was just your imagination. Now you know Tala Shake'n'bake."

"What? That made no sense!!! You come back here!"


	8. Bryan

Hey, guys, everyone's favorite Show is back!! And I have enough material for quite a few chapters, but, however, I think I'll give only one chapter at a time. Now on to Brian!!

Brian is being dragged in by my very faithful evil assistants: Blackie, Svart Mirai, fallen angel wiv horns, and Enchanted Crimson Rose, and I want to thank them right now for being that way, because without them, I don't think this show could go on without them. And they tie him into his chair.

"Thank you, my assistants! Now, where were we? Oh, yes...."

"Know your stars........Know your stars..............Know your stars..........Know your stars............."

"Brian........uh, something Russian, Is a cold hearted serial killer........"

"Yeah," he replies, "I suppose that's true."

"Who likes teddy bears and the color pink."

"Ok, that's stupid."

Brian something Russian..... Likes polka music."

"Well, it's not that bad....."

"Yeah, right.......Brian Something Russian............. Is the town idiot."

"I resent that!"

"Good!! Brian Something Russian............. He has no common sense."

"WHAT?!? The only thing that takes common sense is not being here!"

"Oh, boy, you're good."

"Really?"

"No, Stupid, that was just sarcasm."

"Oh."

"Brian Something Russian....... is an insomniac."

"I sleep just fine, thank you very much."

"And now you know....Brian Something Russian."

"No, they don't!!!! They only know the lies you tell!!!"

Somehow Brian got untied and is now on his knees, howling something about the host being slightly insane. Oh, well.


	9. Ian

Freedra: Sorry I haven't updated in a while. SOMEONE stole my notebook. looks annoyed at Kevin

Kevin: looks at me and then tries to steal my notebook again.

Freedra: KNOCK IT OFF, YOU LITTLE GREASE MONKEY!!!!!

Anyways, for those of you who've recently joined us, we are currently in Russia.

Ian is now sitting in the waiting room, which, for the record, is barred and locked so he can't get out.

Blackie, who, for the record is kinda like a receptionist, goes in and tells him, "Ian....?" She looks everywhere except down and he sneaks out and manages to get caught by my security guards, who promptly escort him to my stage where the show begins.....

And three....two....one.......

"Know your stars..............Know your stars..............Know your stars....................Know your....Stars!"

"Ian.....Something Russian........He's a renagade Christmas Elf."

"No, that's not right, there's no such thing as Christmas Elves."

"That's what you think.......Ian Something Russian............He needs a nose job."

"My nose isn't big!"

"I never said that.... Ian Something Russian.........He's a parasite."

"What? I am not.....I'm a person."

"Or so you're told?"

"What!?"

"Ian Something Russian.......Wants to grow up to be a light bulb."

"Who wants to do that? I actually want to grow up to be a.....veteranarian."

All of a sudden, there is a wave of several different laughters going at once over the mic.

"What? I think it could be very respectable."

"Ian Something Russian.....He still can't tell time."

"Yes I can, and it's time for you to go to the asylum."

"And now you know Ian Something Russian."

"No they don't!"


	10. Spencer

Before we get to the show, I have a few things to say. 

First: Thanks to everyone who reviewed.

Second: I need a new head of security, seeing as my old one had been telling everyone that this was his idea. Anyone who is looking for a volunteer job and/or knows anyone w/ muscle power, please feel free to contact me either by review or email. The old head of security was flame-broiled by the recent flamer i recieved from a friend. Anyways, anyone who is interested whom I haven't already hired, please say so. Thank you. (As of 12: 14 A.M. my friend, Ninmast, as graciously taken the job, due to the fact he'll know someone strong enough to rangle Gary.)

Last: Any other "shows" you want to suggest, please feel free and I'll see what I can do. For instance, I could do a Beyblade Fear Factor next. If anyone out there would like to see that please include that in your review.

Now: Your Featured Presentation....

Know your stars.........Know your stars............Know your stars.....................Know your stars..............

Spencer Whale-guy..................He's afraid of cotton candy.

"Why would anyone be afraid of cotton candy?" Spencer asks, totally weirded out, "Only an idiot would be afraid of cotton candy"  
And that would make you an idiot. Spencer Whale-guy..................His worst enemy is his shadow.

"No one's worst enemy is their shadow. That's just stupid," he argues.

Do I need to say more on the topic? Spencer Whale-guy..................He uses mustard for shampoo.

He rolls his eyes as he says, "No I use regular shampoo like everyone else."

Explain the mustard colored hair, then. Spencer Whale-guy..................He drinks from the toilet.

"You're an idiot. Only dogs and psychos drink from the toilet."

Spencer Whale-guy..................He likes to disect brains.

"What? That's totally rediculous. Why anyone believes you is beyond me. I don't disect brains. that's just gross."

Spencer Whale-guy..................He tried to feed steak to a vegetarian.

"Why? That's insulting. Not only to me."

And now you know Spencer Whale-guy.

"No they don't! They only know that your a cold-hearted B........."

He's abruptly cut off by my security guards and is dragged off the stage.

Coming up Next:

" is a carny."

"Carny? Where, baby?"


	11. Boris

Hey, guys, guess what! I'm Baa-aack!

Let the madness ensue.

_Know your stars…..know your stars………….know your stars………know your stars…….._

'Boris….Evil-guy…….He has no real soul.'

"That's insane!" Boris shouts, who is currently being held down by my new head of security, Ninmast.

'Boris Evil-guy….he sold it to be the best and still lost.'

"You're just trying to make me feel bad, aren't you."

'Nope, it's your own fault you dealt with the devil. Boris Evil-guy……He lives with his mother. (No offense is meant, I swear! Only to Boris!)'

"I do not!"

'Boris Evil-guy….he's had one too many encounters with a bug zapper.'

"Who in their right mind would play with a bug zapper?"

'I don't know; you tell me. You do it. Boris Evil-guy…..he owns an industrial sized bug zapper.'

"I do not, only someone insane would do that….someone like you!"

'Whatever. Boris Evil-guy…he's actually a carney.'

"Carney? Where, baby?"

All of a sudden, Austin Powers is on the set looking around for the carney.

'Wait, who let Austin Powers into my set? '

The camera cuts to outside my studio where the two security guards are lying unconscious on the ground.

'Go figure…'

"He's in the chair," Ninmast says.

As Boris tries to run, Austin tackles him and starts to punch him, because, everyone knows Austin Powers hates carneys.

(Again, no offense was meant to anyone other than Boris Evil-guy)


	12. Lee

I know, I'm spoiling you, but what the heck…

Now the people of "Beyblade Edition" take you to the exotic lands of china to talk to our next "special guests" evil laughter in the background

Know your stars………….know your stars……………know your stars………………..know your stars………………………

'Lee….Something Chinese…………he can't spell his own name.'

"Yes I can!" Lee shouts, tied down to our special chair. "L-E-E. There, I've spelt it!"

'I'm sorry, did you say something? Any who….Lee Something Chinese……….He needs a new shirt.'

"What's wrong with the one I've got now!" he screams at the announcer.

'It's ripped! Anyway….Lee Something Chinese………he's one of Kenny's science experiments gone horribly wrong.'

"Ok, now that's just hurtful!"

'Lee Something Chinese………he's becoming a crybaby."

"I am not; I'm just saying!"

'Lee Something Chinese…………he needs a comb……or a buzz cut.'

"Why? What's wrong with my hair?"

'You're joking right? Lee Something Chinese…………He has been fried by lightning twice.'

"Who would do that? C'mon, tell me who would do that."

'You. And now you know Lee Something Chinese.'

"No they don't! they only know that your partially psychotic!"

(Once again, no offense is meant to anyone by my ravings.)


	13. Mariah

Whoever guessed Mariah was totally correct!

All my evil associates, y'all know who you are, bring in Mariah and tie her down very well.

Know your stars………….know your stars……………know your stars………………..know your stars………………………

'Mariah Hundu…………Is the most annoying person alive.'

Strangely enough, the seemingly empty room starts to cheer and applaud and make lots of noise, obviously agreeing with the announcer.

"That is so rude!" Mariah shouts, "No one says that about me!"

'I wonder why….Mariah Hundu…………..she makes babies cry.'

"Why are you saying these hurtful things?" she screams at the announcer.

'That's just how I am Miss Pinky. Miranda Hundu…………………she is a harpy in disguise."

"That is so mean! And my name is 'Mariah'!"

'That's what you think. Miranda Hundu………..she has no common sense."

"I do so!"

'Then what are you doing here?'

"I was tricked! And I know my name is Mariah!"

'That's what they all say, hun. Miranda Hundu……………………she is a giant pink puff ball.'

More applause and cheering and other noise is coming from the empty room.

'Where is all that noise coming from?'

All the producers, workers, evil assistants, security guards, camera crew, sound people, snack people and everyone else working for me, as well as all the beybladers, including RAY are the sources of the noise.

'Oh.'

"Why is everyone being so mean!"

'You're joking right? Miranda Hissyfit………….everyone hates her.'

"Why would everyone hate me?" she asks innocently, "I've done nothing to anyone."

'You're…….joking………….right? Even Ray was cheering when I insulted you."

She rips through the rope tying her to the chair and screeches, "WHAT? RAY, YOU'RE A DEAD MAN!"

Ray's just sort of standing there, looking as if he were going to say, "Aw, damn it," and he starts running with Mariah close on his heels.

'Apparently he and Kenny made up about the kiss.'

"No, not really!" Ray shouts at the announcer and starts to chase Kenny again. So now it's Kenny being chased by Ray being chased by Mariah.

The announcer is just fascinated with the chaos, and forgets to say her next line, until Crimson snaps her fingers in her face.

'What? Oh! And now you know Miranda Hundu."

She doesn't say anything in reply because she's too busy pummeling Ray.

(Once again, no offense is meant to anyone by my ravings.)


	14. Kevin

Kevin comes now! Did you know I had to hire Jeff Corwin to help me capture him? Jeff is really funny and he's nice. Anyways, back to the story.

"Know your stars……… Know your stars……… Know your stars……… Know your stars………"

'Kevin………' the announcer stops and asks what his last name is. Of course, no one knows. 'Oh well. Kevin…………He used to live with turtles, before he lived with monkeys……..then he lived with the people of that small village.'

"Has anyone told you you're insane?" he asks.

'How bout you? Kevin………….he likes to bite off chicken's heads.'

"That's totally gross, also a bit dangerous."

'So? Kevin…………………..he is chieftain to Club Dumbass.'

"You just cussed, and no, there is no such club," he tells the announcer.

'Yeah……whatever, you're the founding and only member. Kevin…………………….his mother dresses him.'

"What's so wrong about that?"

'…………………..' The auditorium is so quiet that you could hear a pin drop.

A pin drops.

(Ha ha, guys, very funny!)

'You're joking…………right? Kevin…………he's a wet noodle.'

"What? I don't know what you mean."

'Because you can't see me, I'll tell you I'm giving you a 'What the hell' look.'

"What!"

'Nevermind. Kevin……….he likes Gary.'

"No I don't! Who would?"

'Now you know Kevin, the lowest friend a guy could have.'

"no they don't, they just know that you're……….um………" and he falls silent because he can't think of a good comeback.


	15. Gary

After a long time of time out and trying to find our next guest….it's time for everyone's favorite guest-hating television story! (Several cheers and whoops are emitted from the background.) …looks at list that was just handed to me wow, I've got a long way to go still…. And as always…no offense is meant to the readers, just my "special" guests.

As Gary is being wheeled in by my strong security guards, everyone's favorite theme is playing…

"Know your stars………know your stars………know your stars…………….know your stars……….."

'Gary……..Big……Guy…………..He flunked out of pre-school.' (NO OFFENSE TO THE READERS! ONLY TO THE GUEST!)

"Nuh-uh! Gary never went."

'Oh…..Gary Big-Guy………He's the stupid person's idea of a clever person."

"You mean!"

'No duh. Gary Big-Guy…………………..he's the only genius with an I.Q. of 60."

"I a gen-ie-us?"

Something is muttered that sounds an awful lot like, "Is he kidding?"

Another comes and says, "He's not smart enough."

'Any who, Gary Big-Guy…………………..He doesn't know the meaning of the word "fear"….'

"That right."

"……then again, he doesn't know the meaning of most words."

"Hey!"

"Gary Big-Guy…………His mind is so open…..'

"That deep."

'So open that ideas simply pass through.'

"Stop that! That mean!"

'Gary Big-Guy…………………..He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.'

"That's it!"

Suddenly, Gary busts out of his cage and starts looking for the host's secret room. Luckily for me, he is quickly tranquilized by my head of security, Ninmast.

'And now you know Gary Big-Guy.'

Gary is being dragged off, snoring.


	16. Steven

Host: Freedra!

My # 1 assistant: Blackie

Other assistants: fallen angel wiv horns

Enchanted Crimson Rose (Crimson)

Svart Mirai

Head of security: Ninmast

Other security: ChibiLaryla II

YamikaiemiBlackAngelMaritamai (Yami)

And other big, strong people…

Stage crew: Bluephoenix17

Kit Anika- Wildmage

Prisca-Angel

To: X Shadow Wolf X2/

YamikaiemiBlackAngelMaritamai

fallen angel wiv horns

Lil Tanuki

sapphire-sword

Shakon

Enchanted Crimson Rose

Sukasa192

puppalupp2008

Kit Anika- Wildmage

Relient K fans

Bluephoenix17

Death Angel's Shadow

VGMaster04

BlackGold Ficcies Inc

Kai'sgrl

Lilicat

Hutchy

Ranma-inu-1049

Tenshi-Tara Kawaii

Angelwings

RavenToriBlack

EmI-cHaN aNd HeR 3 SpIrItS

blueangel1888888

Reis1gur

Ninmast

puppalupp2008

SilverTiger-GoldenPhoenix

weffie

Kais Devil

X Shadow Wolf X2

Yueh Kitsune

Suheil373

Darkie The Neko

Midnightmare

Svart Mirai

ChibiLaryla II

McCallM.Daneils

Kawii Angel

Kai/Hilary ROCK!

Captein Amelia

Izumi Princess of Darkness

Shinjiku

UniGirl

Kai/Ray

watery-angel

Charter Mage Z

I owe you all the biggest freakin' apology ever cuz I'm such a lazy btch and never finish what I start. Please forgive me and I hope that you will continue to read my fic/ tv show. Thank you.

Now, on with the show!

We now move to the Home of the brave and the Land of the free. Yes, Ladies and gents, that's right, the U.S.A, where we will find our next featured tar—

"Freed," Svart says, "You're doing it again."

"Doing what?"

"Using the wrong words. The line is 'Our next featured guests'."

"Right."

Where we will find our next featured victims, I mean, sufferers, I mean, special guests.

Svart just shakes his/her head (please tell me which is the appropriate one.)

As my security guards bring in our next guest, the most famous theme starts playing………………………..

"Know your stars………know your stars………………….know your stars……….know your stars…………."

'Steven………Jock………..he—.'

Ring ring

'Hold on a sec. Hello? Blackie, where are you? ...Oh? Oh, that's too bad…………yes you can have the rest of the day off if you're feeling that bad…….yes of course………….mm-hmm……………mm-hmm…..Alright, feel better.'

click

'Alright……Ste--."

Ring ring

Steven is starting to get slightly annoyed by all of the "sudden" phone calls.

'Hold on. Yes? What? …….No I did not order 72 large anchovy pizzas………..No, you must be mistaken……Either that, or it was Miriam's order. You know what? I think it was…..why don't you send those to her? Alright? ……….Good. Yep, no problem.'

click

'Alright, now……where was I?'

"You were about to say something about me," Steven says.

'Right, he--."

Ring Ring

'Hold on. Yes? Ninmast? What is it? ………A break in? Huh, do you know who it is? ……………….Oh, Carney-phobic hasn't left the building yet? sighs yeah, yeah, don't mention the you-know-whats that work at carnivals. Got it. ……….Yeah? Oh, that's just great. Alright, get animal control to re-capture that little grease monkey. Yep, no problem. Thanks, bye.'

click

"Wow, you're sure popular."

'It's the price of fame, I suppose.'

"Now how about me?"

'What about you?'

"Aren't you going to talk about me?"

There is a muffled, "Is he kidding?" from somewhere in the audience.

'Steven Jock…………..he's an idiot _wanting me to talk about him!_'

"Hey….oh, oops."

'Steven Jock…………….Any similarity between him and a human is purely coincidental.'

"Now wait a minute!"

'Now you know Steven Jock.'

"No they don't, they just know you're extremely popular! Come back!"


	17. Michael

Host: Freedra!

My # 1 assistant: Blackie

Other assistants: fallen angel wiv horns

Enchanted Crimson Rose (Crimson)

Svart Mirai

sashary

Head of security: Ninmast

Other security: ChibiLaryla II

YamikaiemiBlackAngelMaritamai (Yami)

And other big, strong people…

Stage crew: Bluephoenix17

Kit Anika- Wildmage

Prisca-Angel

I will honestly say our last show wasn't one of our better ones. Please forgive my lack of enthusiasm and I will try harder.

Now on to the show…

"Know your stars………know your stars………………….know your stars……….know your stars…………."

'Michael…….Show-off……………… He has a mind like a steel trap - always closed.'

"Hey! I can think just fine!"

'Michael Show-off…………………………………………… He is living proof that man can live without a brain!

"I have a brain!"

'Michael Show-off…………………………………………… He is the kind of a man that you would use as a blueprint to build an idiot.

"Hey! I'm not an idiot!"

'Michael Show-off…………………………………………… He's not stupid; he's possessed by a retarded ghost.

"I resent that!"

'Michael Show-off…………………………………………… There is no vaccine against stupidity.

"What?"

'Michael Show-off…………………………………………… Whenever he farts, he thinks it smells like his mama.' (NO OFFENSE CLAUSE!)

"Whoa, now, that's going a bit too far!"

'Michael Show-off…………………………………………… Nobody says that he is dumb. They just say he was sixteen years old before you learned how to wave goodbye.

"That's not true, I could wave when I was 1!"

'Michael Show-off…………………………………………… I heard you got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you!

"Are you calling me stupid?"

'Michael Show-off…………………………………………… Calling you stupid would be an insult to stupid people.

"Hey!"

'Now you know Michael Show-off."

"What are you talking about? They don't know me, just the sh--."

He is abruptly cut off by Crimson, svart, sashary, and fallen angel where he is escorted off the "stage".

End credits……

Produced by: Freedra Kyes

Directed by:

Staring: Freedra Kyes

Co-staring: Blackie

fallen angel wiv horns

Enchanted Crimson Rose (Crimson)

Svart Mirai

sashary

Ninmast

ChibiLaryla II

YamikaiemiBlackAngelMaritamai (Yami)

And other big, strong people…

Bluephoenix17

Kit Anika- Wildmage

Prisca-Angel

Guest staring: Michael from the All Starz


End file.
